Since there are so many conspiracy theories out there I feel almost obligated to forward another one, one that’s so ridiculous that people will HAVE to believe it. The conspiracy is simple: Saddam Hussein wasn’t really executed, it was all staged.

Of course why would they do such a thing? Well, motives aren’t all that important to conspiracy theories, so let’s just say it was some evil corporation exerting political influence and pulling strings. Let’s go with Microsoft. No, that’s too cliche and expected… given some of the negative publicity for battery explosions let’s go with Sony. Sony sounds about right.

Did I mention recent investigation revealed that the Sony battery explosions were really an elaborate terrorist plot from Iraqis to harm businessmen and boil desktop surfaces? It’s all true – why would I make it up?

On to the alleged hanging of Saddam Hussein. I had a panel of top experts examine the video and they came to some stunning conclusions. They determined that a 69 year old dictator would not have the remaining muscle strength to jerk about as he did, that the muscle reflex behaviors would be impossible for anybody over the age of 30. They also believe that he could not have landed in his own footprints without external assistance. Some point out that the death was too quick considering Saddam had such a fat neck.

It must have been an imposter – a dedicated young man probably around the age of 25… No he was 16 – that way it sounds more dramatic and messed up!

Ted Bradley, a reputable agent and disguise analyst of the CIA (using an undercover name), says that the beard the Saddam imposter wore easily obscured his face and made it easy for most, less discerning people, to know who was actually being hung.

“The beard is an old disguise,” Bradley told us, “it’s a cheap and easy way to hide your face and real identity. However in this case our analysis indicates that the jawline, beard growth, and general face structure is inconsistent with our records of Saddam Hussein.”

“There was no hanging on Saturday morning”, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf, the former Iraqi Information Minister, told authories, “There hasn’t been a hanging here since the American invasion when the US soldiers hung themselves in droves.”

“I can give you the utmost assurances that mister Hussein is not only among the living, but he is in better shape than he ever has been.” The information minister continued, “He is being secretly moved away somewhere and inside sources say he may become a cab driver.”

And here’s where it all ties together: The whole event was filmed by a Sony HD camera! Sony is using this staged death for incredible publicity (everyone in the world will know that a Sony camera was used to capture the last moments of the dictator) and a chance to bolster the sales of their HD-TVs and Blu-Ray format by offering special “Saddam Bundles of Death” where you get a copy of the video in Hi-def for free with any purchase!

Some experts are now suggesting that Saddam is largely responsible for Global Warming as well as the Bird Flu and they believe action must be taken to force the Bush administration to unmask the truth and kill the real Saddam before they unwittingly unleash catastrophes and destruction on humanity and the planet.

Calling the white house number yielded no results as Bush was either unwilling to comment or was just plain busy. However some sources inform us that Bush doesn’t even know how to operate a phone, rendering that line of inquiry fruitless.

Anyway, the hanging of Saddam was obviously a conspiracy by the government working in conjunction with Sony to sell more HD-TVs.

They can’t stop the signal,
-Mike

Disclaimer: If you couldn’t tell this whole thing was facetious and not to be taken seriously whatsoever. Sony isn’t in league with terrorists, there was no panel of experts who reviewed the tape, Saddam is most assuredly dead, I’m not really trying to cause trouble just to poke fun at conspiracy theories in general. I do think a few of the conspiracy theories are pluasible, but this one is definitely a made up and a farce.

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